China
I'm not sure that I have the words to accurately describe my experience in China, but I will try my best to do so. Little did I know it was possible to go through such a whirlwind of emotion in just over a week's time. With the help of some photos, journal entries, and your imagination, I hope to share my journey with you. I have been tremendously blessed by the people who so willingly helped me reach my goal, and by those who prayed for the team and myself throughout the trip. Many sincere thanks to all of you.
On the morning of June 5th, 2015, my best friend Kelly and I made our way towards gate A29 inside George Bush Airport. There, we met with our teammate, Kristin, who also lives in Houston. After talking for a while and getting to know each other, a woman sitting nearby inquired about the bright blue shirts we were wearing. We first told her about Show Hope, the non-profit organization whose mission is to care for Orphans. They primarily do this through Adoption Aid financial grants that help give orphans families, and Special Care Centers in China that help orphans with special needs. The first of those centers is Maria's Big House of Hope, where we would learn more about caring for orphans for the next week. We each shared a little bit about how we heard of the trip, and she grew excited for each of us and shared a little bit of her own story. She told us about her child with a disability, and how rewarding it is for them and for you when you spend time together. The four of us sat for some time, continuing to share what God was doing in each of our lives. Before we knew it, it was time for us to board our plane. She leaned over us and prayed for our time in China and for the rest of our lives. Kristin, Kelly and I felt so encouraged and at peace by her words of encouragement. Our time with the woman was such a sweet reminder that God knew exactly where we were, and we were suppose to be there. The three of us sat on the same row in the plane, and just to my right sat a young lady who looked to be about my age. After sitting in silence for a few moments, I think we both realized we'd be in these seats for the next 2-3 hours and decided to strike up some conversation. I'm glad we did! Come to find out, she was also going on a mission trip, and I knew her pastor! Just another way God was revealing Himself and comforting me on my first plane ride ever! A few hours later and after an enjoyable first flight, my new friend and I departed ways in the Chicago O'Hare Airport. There, Kristin, Kelly and I met the rest of our team. Looking back, it's amazing to see how God brought each of us together from so many different places. I love these people deeply.
"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10
We all sat in the food court, introducing ourselves as more team members slowly made their way in. A few hours and an airport pizza later, we had all made it. We found a clearing in a large hallway and sat down for our first team meeting. I got to know everyone a little more with some icebreaker games and discussion time. Time flew by quickly after that, and my second and longest flight was about to begin.
The Long Flight (13 hours) 6/6/15
"We are flying over Canada, in between the Great Slave Lake, and the Great Bear Lake. The time here is 10:21 pm. On average, we are flying about 550 mph at about 32,000 feet. This plane is an icebox. I can feel cool air blowing through my jeans and black fleece hoodie, even with the provided blanket to cover me. I'm fairly comfortable though, especially when considering it's -52C outside. Everyone seems to be asleep. The monitors and cabin lights are off, and the only thing I hear is the sound of the plane’s engines as we soar through the air. Just to my left, Kelly seems to be having absolutely no problem falling asleep on my shoulder. I put my earbuds on and get lost in a melody by Explosions In The Sky. I love this song, but ironically, I'm really hoping that there are no explosions in the sky. I turn my monitor on to find an image of a plane and a red line that indicates how far we've come, and the route that we'll continue on. I've become obsessed with watching it, despite the option to stream newly released movies. I turn the monitor off and glance around me once more before reclining my seat to rest. Every eye is shut, and only a faint glow of dim overhead light is on each face to show for it. I can't believe I'm flying. I'm the furthest from home I've ever been, and only a third of the way to where I'm going. Suddenly, Houston doesn't seem so big anymore, and I feel very, VERY small."
That night, or the next, (I'm not sure which) we stayed the night in a hotel near the Beijing airport, then flew out to Luoyang the next morning. At this point, I hadn't gotten a window seat on our flights yet, and I was really hoping for one. It felt silly, but I prayed for one anyways, and sure enough, I got one! It was cool to see how God worked around us not only to meet needs, but also in providing little things that made our trip more comfortable. Therefore, my face was glued to the window for the next 3 hours. We flew low, and even though smog covered all of the earth’s surface, I could somewhat make out the land below. This was a view I was determined to remember forever.
When we stepped outside of the Airport in Luoyang, some of the staff from Maria's helped us load our bags in the back of a mini van and onto our bus. Two young ladies I didn't recognize had been making conversation with some of our teammates. At this point, I had no idea who they were, or what their role was, but I remember walking over to Kelly and whispering "that's a picture of you and me in the future." Fast forward and we're making our way to Maria's House through the bustling streets of Luoyang. Carts with fruit barrels loaded onto them scooted down each street, and mopeds zoomed around every corner. This was our first time really getting a glimpse of everyday life in China, and it was all so exciting and surreal. I think I might have pinched myself several times on the short bus ride to Maria's.
When we arrived at Maria's, reality started to sink in deeper. First off, I realized I was REALLY IN CHINA. What? Secondly, I was at Maria's! I had read a whole book about this place, but it was only a part of my imagination until now. It was much bigger and bluer than what I thought it would be, therefore more grand and breathtaking than what I could've imagined! Waiting at the foot of the steps was a group of young people waving to us with beaming smiles on their faces. It was the warmest welcome I'd ever received. We unloaded 20 humanitarian bags from the bus into the front room, where the staff would sort through an abundance of diapers, food, and medical supplies. Shortly after exchanging names and hugs with the staff, we took our luggage up to the 6th floor to settle into the rooms that would be ours for the week.
It was late in the afternoon and we were all pretty tired, but too excited to notice or even care. After getting a tour of the building, we all met on the 5th floor, where we went over the schedule and some basic housekeeping guidelines. We also had our first lesson, which was on hope. It was a good topic to begin with, as it is the root for Show Hope, Maria's Big House of Hope, and the work that they do to care for orphans. Diner wasn't for another few hours, so we had some time to explore. This was also the first time we got to play in the nurseries and meet some of the nannies and children.
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13
Savannah 6/7/15
"With about an hour and a half to spare before dinner, we were finally able to go into the nurseries to play with the children. Kelly and I decided to go into the same room, which became a habit for the rest of the week. Little did I realize it at the time, but God was just adding another sweet layer of quality time to our friendship. We slipped our matching (as usual) slides off and entered one of the corner rooms on the 4th floor. Every child in the room had turned our way. This was the first of a very new and different experience I'd ever had in my life, and I strongly recognized that in this moment. On each face was a set of gleaming dark eyes in a blank stare. The nannies smiled and motioned for us to come play. It took a few minutes for everyone to warm up to each other, but before we knew it, echoes of laughter filled the entire room. Every now and then I noticed a girl in the corner turning over on her mat to glance my way. Whenever our eyes met, her head rolled back in laughter. I made my way over to her and lay next to her on my side. After exchanging a series of goofy faces, I sat up and she was happy to let me hold her. After an what seemed to me to be an awkward transition, her head resting in the bend of my arm, and her little hand wrapped around my index finger. I gazed into her big brown eyes. A few seconds would pass, and then her nose would wrinkle right before her eyes disappeared as she let out a belly laugh I would remember forever. This was Savannah, and this was a moment that would change my life forever."
I visited Savannah's room every single day that week.
It wasn't until later into the week, 4 days later, that I remembered a dream God gave me about this trip and meeting Savannah. Back in 2010, while attending a Christian summer camp with my church, I was asking God to show me something about my future. I've had so many dreams and interests all my life, but felt completely directionless. God knew just how to speak in a way that was clear to me. I tend to be a person who lacks sleep, whether by will or not. I hardly ever dream, and if I do, it's not likely that I'll wake the next day to remember it. On one night during summer camp 5 years ago, I had a dream that I was in another country, but I wasn't sure where. The city I stood in was very brown, dusty, and hard to see through. As I was standing in this foreign place, a little girl with long dark hair walked right up to me. Even though she was tiny, she was tall and lean. She had no hesitation in placing her frail little hand in mine. Together, we walked to her home. When we arrived the only thing I noticed was a big, bright blue door. We walked through it, and made our way over to the side of the room. We sat on a mat to play together, and then the dream had ended.
While in China, I realized that I was living out this vision that God gave me. I remembered it all so clearly all of a sudden, and what each highlight of my dream represented. The country I was in was China, and I stood in the smog covered city of Luoyang! Savannah was the first girl I met while there, and her stature and long dark hair mimicked that of the girl in my dream. Maria's Big House of Hope is the same bright blue that stuck out to me in my dream. When I realized this, sheer Joy came over me. There is no doubt in my mind that God has a plan for the rest of my life and for Savannah's. I love looking back in my journal to when I first wrote about this dream. It's serves as such a strong reminder of God's faithfulness.
Brokenness
Monday's lesson was on Brokenness. I would be lying if I said it was an easy thing to talk about and dwell on. I began to reflect on my own brokenness and as I did, I grew so thankful for who God is. The beautiful thing about being broken is that God doesn't leave us that way. I get things wrong, I mess up, and I hurt people, even when I don't mean to. I deserve to live in my brokenness and be punished because I fall so short of perfection. Thankfully, it doesn't end there. Jesus loves me so much that He came to earth 2000 years ago and took my punishment for me. He died for me, and now I get to experience perfection with Him in heaven when I die. In the mean time, He is restoring things, including my heart and it's state of brokenness. His love has changed me and is changing me every day. Maria's is a place where there are so many needs, but at the same time, in the midst of such earthly brokenness, there is so much JOY because of the HOPE we have in Christ. It's evident that everyone who works with Show Hope understands that, and Christ's love has changed them, too. In the same way that God showed love towards us, we get to show love towards orphans, because we are the same. We were once orphans because our sin separated us from God, until His love for us changed that. Caring for orphans is just an overflow of Christ's love working in and through us.
"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the worst." 1 Timothy 1:15
"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:8-9
Tuesday evening we went out to explore Old City Luoyang and do some shopping. It was exciting to be in an area of China that not many people travel to. A lot of the Chinese people probably hadn't seen such a large group of Americans passing through. Several people would walk alongside us and take selfies with us in the background, or ask us to stand with their child for a picture. After walking for some time, we stopped for egg bread and it was delicious. We walked through an underground building that was primarily dozens of little art studios. As we peered into each room, we got a glimpse of the artist concentrating on his or her work. If we stood watching long enough, they would look up and greet us with a warm smile. We made our way back onto the streets and browsed several more shops. I loved this part of Luoyang. Each and every building had so much detail and character, even after being used for so many years.
Our last stop before heading back to Maria's was for lunch. We walked into a grand building and the restaurant hostess led us up a flight of stairs where we had the upper room reserved for our large group. It was such a beautiful building! We split up to dine at four large tables, each of which had a lazy suzan almost as big as the table placed in the middle. Several of the more common and favorite dishes were brought out to us, one by one. Before we knew it, there was no more room left on the lazy suzan, or in our stomachs. At the end of the meal, they brought out watermelon, which traditionally indicates that we had finished all of the courses. After a few of us ate duck brain and the rest of us turned our heads in disgust, we slowly made our way out to the street, where our van was waiting to take us back to Maria's for the evening.
Peace, Rest, and Contentment 6/10/15
"It's Wednesday at Maria's, but honestly I've lost all sense of time. The past 3 days here have been completely eye opening. I have learned so much, and it's somewhat difficult to further process anything without putting time aside to do so. I've really enjoyed my morning quiet time on the roof. I wake up with the sun at about 4:30am, which doesn't really mean anything, except that my day has already begun. My bed is right next to a large window that faces the orphanage across the street. From the main road just outside the gates, I watch the Nannies roll in on their mopeds for their next shift. With my Bible and journal in hand, I take the elevator up to the roof where I get to look over Luoyang before the streets start bustling with cars heading whichever direction they please. There are hardly road rules here. Some of the buildings grouped together around me look like identical cardboard boxes that were just placed on the ground. Every now and then I see someone pop out of a building to sweep the sidewalk or water plants. If it's a clear day, you can somewhat make out the sun. On a smoggier day, it's easier to lose track of the hour because there is no telling just by looking at the sky. I talk to God. I thank Him for this amazing opportunity to be in the humble city of Luoyang. I thank Him for each and every team member that has had such an impression on my life. I thank Him for the staff at Maria's and the stories they share about not only their time here, but also the journey of walking by faith every single day. I thank Him for each and every child who comes and goes from this place. He knows each one sleeping in their cribs, just stories below. I thank God for the lives of those whose names are written on the walls of this roof, knowing that God brought them into this world and took them away in His good and perfect plan that is so often beyond our comprehension. I sit in silence, trying to fully take in moments like these. Even in the midst of a week that has been so exhaustingly full of countless emotions, I find rest in His presence and perfect peace in His plan."
Wednesday's focus was on Trust and Humility, and it couldn't have gone better with my quiet time that morning. One thing that really stood out to me from our trip handbook was this:
"Instead of self-reliance, we must actively cultivate a God-reliance that is rooted in the knowledge that in all things, God is loving and able."
Later that evening for dinner, we had wings at a family style BBQ restaurant under a big canopy outside. We all sat at a long metal table, and edamame and seasoned flat bread were immediately brought out. A few minutes later, thinly sliced potatoes were placed in front of us on a large pan. I could have eaten those things alone and been satisfied. Thankfully I saved room for 3 styles of BBQ wings. They were so good, and I'm not even a big BBQ fan. Yes, I am from Texas. No, I am not a vegetarian. I basked in the moment, considering the company around me. To my left, people were telling stories of the amazing things God did that day and sharing things about their life while here and how it'll effect going back home. To my right, everyone was playing games and telling jokes and laughing until I could no longer see their eyes because of such beaming smiles. I sat in contentment. It was a beautiful evening, so raw and stripped down. Good food in the great outdoors, with even greater fellowship, a light breeze and the sun beginning to set just behind the trees. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Jesus."
The End and The Beginning 6/11/15
"Today is our last full day at Maria's. I'm trying to savor every second of it, from the sounds, the smells, the food, the fellowship, holding my many tiny friends' hands once more, and sensing the sheer joy flowing throughout this place. I spent sweet time with Savannah in her pre-school class, and with my friend Easton on the 3rd floor. I wish I could have spent many hours in every single room today. We threw a party for all of the June birthdays on the 2nd floor, where cake was served and everyone had fun playing with balloons. This evening we had dinner on the roof with the staff. It was a beautiful evening of reflection and relaxation. We shared stories and laughed together while the sun was setting. I remember now how God started preparing my heart to lead worship while in China, even months back when I applied for this trip. At one point I thought, "how cool would it be to be able to lead worship in China?!". The idea was quickly disregarded, knowing that this trip was to an orphanage, where I probably wouldn't have access to a guitar or time before our team meetings. God so sweetly and gently reminded me while I was here that there most definitely is time, as we had little worship segments each evening. Tonight we sang "Holy Spirit" and the presence of God was so evident. Our wonderful leader, Katie, requested that we sing the timeless and well known "Amazing Grace" acapella style. Being right next to a prison, we all sang in unison at the top of our lungs. Only God knows who is in that prison, and maybe our brothers and sisters in the body of Christ could hear us praising Him. We ended the evening in a group circle sharing words of encouragement to each other. No one wanted to go to bed tonight, so we didn't for the longest time. We all wanted to wake to another full day at Maria's. I'm in a pretty quiet mood and feel a bit zoned out. Right now I keep thinking about the sweet time Kelly and I had today walking all the way down the stairs on either side of the building, passing through the halls and stopping to pray over each and every room and staff member. As we walked floor to floor in silence, God was also speaking to me and putting a heavy burden on my heart."
As to what God said, continue reading to "The Flight Home"
